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Sunday, May 27, 2007

my choice

went for iHope yesterday at ACJC. the main speaker was Sy Rogers and he shared his testimony and life story with us. he had an interesting past and i think many people are still skeptical about whether he is actually really changed his ways because of his prominent mannerism and accent. but by God's grace, he's a new man and he started a family of his own 25 years ago and has a 21 year old daughter today. to all who are curious about his past, he was actually a homosexual and he had to live as a woman for 2 years before he was allowed to go through he sex change operation. and one day when he was meditating [those yoga kinda thingy] God spoke to him and he broke down and asked God to show him a sign. and 3 days later the center where he was going to have his operation shut down because the founder said that research showed that people who go through sex change do not lead a better life style and it doesnt help them emotionally. his life story is a little long for me to tell here, but apparently the whole world knew about him because people wrote about him in newspaper articles and stuff.

we had 3 sessions where we could choose from a list of topics to see which one was more relevant to us because of the different age groups. Sy Rogers was the speaker in 2 of the sessions i chose and i think he's a really good speaker. probably with all the experiences he went through he could advise us on what to do and how to react to situations. and it was only during the Q&A session that i learnt alot more. one girl wrote on a piece of paper for the Q&A that she is in an unhealthy relationship with her boyfriend and she knew that it was displeasing to God. but she didnt want to break up and loose her boyfriend just because she wanted to choose a healthier relationship instead. Sy Rogers said something that impacted me, he said that God doesnt force us to leave someone or do something just because he knows what's best for us. instead he gives us a choice to choose the path we want to lead and of cos he'll be pleased if we choose to honor Him.

i guess i made that decision a long time ago and i chose the path that i felt would honor God. but until yesterday i realised that part of me still clinged on very tightly to what didnt belong to me anymore and it was holding me back instead of pushing me forward to a promising future. and after yesterday i've decided that if i wanna truely give my life to God i would have to surrender my past to him and lead a whole new life. it's definately going to be a hard journey but i know i can do it. life's never easy and doesnt always go your way. but by fully trusting in God i know i wouldnt have to worry about what tmw might bring because i'm sure that he'll take me through it all.

went out for lunch with nic deb sam jet at mayim to celebrate jet's birthday which is on the 30th of may. kinda ordered alot and was really full at the end, but i still had space for my desert, MANGO PUDDING! twas really good! yall should go try it one day. i could have eaten another bowl of it but it's a little too expensive, 3 buckeroos! sam paid for the bill and treated all of us cos she got her pay already. i wonder what happened to my pay cos i havent gotten mine yet, and ailian and sam got theirs already...hmmm....

went home to rest a little. was suppose to go squashing with dan and shaomin, but i was too tired and lazy to leave the house. if it was swimming i would have gone cos the weather was terribly HOT! my house felt like a greenhouse when i came home cos all the window were closed and the heat was trapped inside. sharon talked me into going for the Global Day of Prayer at the national stadium. they were just going for the youth worship at 6 and then leaving after at 7, so i thought as long as i could come home early to rest i wouldnt mind going. the only youth who went were sharon jessie and me. and the worship was surprisingly short. ended at 630. so we went out for dinner in town. Jessie wanted to get the Casting Crowns cd so we went to trumpet praise at PS. went to subway for dinner and after that walked all the way to far east so that jessie could try the heavenly FRIED MARS BAR!!! haha. if you havent tried it yet, i strongly encourage you to. it's super yummy :)))

walked around far east and went window shopping. saw a bangle at ice lemon tea and i thought it was pretty, but i didnt know if it matched any of my clothes, and i would also have to wear it up at my arm and all my fats would be squished out around it. so ugly. haha. so decided not to get it in the end. walking around make me wanna go shopping at bugis street once i get my pay. there's so many things i wanna get!! i've been saying this ever since who-knows-when because i really need new clothes. been wearing the same things over and over again. i'm also looking for long pretty skirts. long skirts has always been my thing, just that it's hard to find one that i really like. if yall know me well enough, you'll know that i dun like to wear short skirts and i'm mostly in jeans. during poly days i could wear jeans the whole week. probably the same pair cos i only have 2 pairs of jeans. haha. only lately i've been giving my denim skirts a chance to get out of the closet, but i still hardly wear them and only if both my jeans are in the wash then i would have no choice but to wear them.

i hope i'll get my pay by tuesday. but tmw, i'll have to go all the way down to seragoon broadway to return my graduation gown and get back my 50 bucks. then tuesday would be squashing day with dan and whoever is going to be there. i've become a little rusty. been a long while since i squashed. have my week well planned out.

oh ya, there's a tail-less baby lizard running around the walls near my babies - kenny and hammy. it's disgusting. i wonder where the tail went to. have a feeling it's somewhere near the computer table because a few weeks ago jet was trying to catch it but it ran inbetween the cracks of the cupboard. aarrggghh! so gross...

spread my wings at[10:54 PM]

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