*____a pRinCesS's sToRy___

Sunday, May 20, 2007

thank God for sundays

my comp's been so laggy these few days. cant stand it! i dunno if it's because i've too many things stored in the comp or if it's sam who had downloaded lots of internet tool bars that makes it so slow. keep asking jet to help me make it not so laggy but he's like too busy with his own stuff.

woke up late cos i slept at 12am last night and i had to rush out of the house after getting ready within 10 mins, but i was still a little late for church in the end. Pastor Timothy Phua was the speaker today and he's one of the well known speakers cos he's so funny and always have a million jokes to tell. we learnt about GRACE today and it really made me think about how bad i was at showing grace to other people. I guess for us christians, the motivation for us showing grace to others is because we know of the unconditional grace and love that God has shown to us, people who do not deserve it at all. during sunday school we discussed what we learnt in the sermon, and evelyn said something that really struck me hard. grace is something we do for others that casues inconvenience to ourselves. it is simple things like being nice to someone who is probably the most irritating person on earth, making friends with the outcast in your class even if it means that you would risk being an outcast yourself, or even giving up the seat for an elderly or pregnent woman no matter how tired you are after a long day of shopping. turthfully, i'm guilty of not doing all that i mentioned above. and only just yesterday while on my way home from rob's party, i was so tired and although i knew that there was a pregnent woman in front of me, i just sat there, i did have thoughts of giving up my seat, but my legs refused to budge.

was talkint to hazel yesterday about how i was rejected by NTU and she told me that i could appeal to get in, keep appealing and make them irritated. haha. that's what i did. i prayed really hard that God would allow me to get in even with the shitty results i have. I know that i wouldnt be able to survive studying part time and working full time because i would then have to sacrifice alot of things like squash, friends, church and maybe even spending time at home with jet and sam. although studying part time and working full time would be a great advantage to me in the future, cos i'll be considered more valuable in the market then the graduates in 3 years time with all my working experiences, but i'm not ready to give up so many things. i'm still young and i still want to travel around the world and plan holidays with my friends.

i'm really using this time i have now to renew my relationship with God. although i may not be mature as a person, i'm striving hard to become a mature christian. almost 20 years of my life have past and i havent done anything significant for God. i see what my parents are doing now and the sacrifice they make to obey God, and i wonder if God wants me to take the same path. I have a burden for orphans every since i was young and i have a great passion to work with children but never put this passion to use even when i was given a chance to teach the sunday school kids.

it's really tough not knowing what my future would be like and i dont like the feeling of living day to day not knowing where i would be in a year's time. in poly it didnt bother me because i know i would still be in poly year after year if i passed all my modules, and it still didnt bother me in year 3 cos i thought i would go to university. but after getting really lousy results and being rejected from ntu, and having to decide whether i should work or study within such a short period of time, makes me all stressed up.

i'll be really busy this coming friday, saturday and sunday. i've decided to not go for squash on friday, although i havent been going for such a long time and it kills me to hear that marcus went last friday, but i'll go for the church prayer meeting instead. and on saturday, it'll be a whole day of I-Hope, from 9am to night at ACJC. it's a youth thingy of many classes with different topics to choose from, probably speaking to youth who wants to know how to stay firm in this new age society where everyone may be leading you the wrong way, away from God. and then on sunday, i'll be going for the Global Day of prayer. it is a yearly event and i didnt go the previous year. i think it's so cool that every christian all around the world gather together on the same day and pray for the world. and God said that his presence will be there when 2 or more pray, imagine the whole church praying at the same time....wow!

making drastic changes to my personal life right now, but i'll definately be the same ol' me. as fun as ever! lol. if you actaully even see me as a fun friend in the first place. i know i can be quite boring at times. haha. lots of tv shows to keep me entertained tonight: ugly betty, next top model and pepper denise. and then it's another week of work. OH OH! graduation this coming tuesday!!! yay!!! hope i dun get stage fright or trip on stage when shaking hands with the big-shot. haha.

tooooddlesss!

spread my wings at[1:50 PM]

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